Anti-Windows Taglines - Star Trek Style!



  Windows is irrelevent.  It's existance is futile.

  Screw the prime directive...give the Borg a copy of Windows!"

  Data to Picard: No I do NOT run Windows!

  Darmok and Windows, when computers slowed dramatically.

{  * = Tribble.   ~%#..~$ = Tribbles after using Windows.

  The only thing the Borg left were these copies of Windows.

  Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3.1



Anti-Windows Taglines - Windows Errors!



  Windows Error: 001 - Windows loaded.  System in danger.

  Windows Error: 002 - No error yet ...

  Windows Error: 004 - Operator fell asleep while waiting.

  Windows Error: 007 - System price error.  Inadequate moneyŤ
spent.

  Windows Error: 010 - Reserved for future mistakes

  Windows Error: 103 - Windows detected running on system

  Windows Error: 015 - Unable to exit Windows.  Try the door.

  Windows Error: 061 - WIN.COM not found - type WIN for exit ...

  Windows Error: 089 - You can't Low Level Format your HDD soŤ
there!

  Windows Error: 123 - Windows not found -=Use Real OperatingŤ
System=-

  Windows Error: 132 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance



Anti-Windows Taglines - NT Jokes!



  32-bit Windows + Artificial Intelligence - WINDOWS AINT!

  Windows NT: The only 80 meg solitaire game.

  Windows NT: The world's only 80 megabyte Solitaire game!

  Windows NT?  New Technology?  I don't think so ...

  Windows NT - No Thanks! (Gates named it right)

  Windows NT: 16Mb to accomplish a 4Mb job

  Windows NT: AIDS for the PC

  Windows NT: From the people responsible for RECOVER.COM

  Windows NT: The network server that doesn't

  I,m A ae ta.. teSster fo r  Wi dos N t ...

  The NEW XT EMULATOR!  MicroSoft Windows NT

  Windows NT: The epitome of Crippleware.

  No Bill, it's not an XT.  We're just testing Windows NT

  You mean you think Windows NT **ISN'T** a joke?!



Anti-Windows Taglines - DESQView is better!



  Use DesqView (Windows breaks very easily).

  What's the difference between DesqView and Windows? 15 megs.



Anti-Windows Taglines - Metamorphasis!



  Turn your 486 into an XT -- just add Windows

  Windows! The magic of turning a 486 into a Gameboy!

  I'll consider Windows useful as soon as I grow a third arm.





Anti-Windows Taglines - OS/2 is better!



  OS/2 means...CURTAINS for Windows!

  Windows is to OS/2 what Etch-a-Sketch is to art.

  Why look thru Windows?  Open the door to the future: OS/2

  Friends encourage friends to use Windows - under OS/2!

  No need for WindowsVideoAccelerator, get OS/2.

  Stop complaining about Windows!  You could be running OS/2!

  Windows?  What's Windows?  I use OS/2. - Bill Gates



Anti-Windows Taglines - Viruses are better!



  Windows isn't a virus.  A virus does something.

  Virus-checker message: "MS-Windows found...delete?(Y/Y)"

  Windows has crashed more systems than Michelangelo.

  Difference between a virus & Windows?  Viruses never fail.

  VirusScan - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/y)"

  Sorry!  This virus requires Windows!

  MicroSoft Windows... a virus with mouse support.

  The difference between Windows and a virus? Virus is free.

  Windows: Big, expensive, pretty virus.

  Windows is just a big virus.

  Who needs a doomsday virus when we have Windows

  Bill Gates did wrote a slowdown virus : WINDOWS



Anti-Windows Taglines - DOS is better!



  Windows is for fun, DOS is for getting things done.

  Windows 3.1 - The colorful clown suit for DOS.

  Windows Ice Cream -- Hoggin' DOS

  Windows: An overpriced way to eat up HD space.



Anti-Windows Taglines - Bigger Hard Drives!



  Double your Hard Drive space: DELETE WINDOWS!

  1 gig of RAM, 1 Terrabyte of HD space, a Pentium chip, NOŤ
WINDOWS!



Anti-Windows Taglines - At the DOS prompt!



\\\\\  C:WINDOWS;C:WINDOWSRUN;C:WINDOWSCRASH;DEL *.*

\\\\\\  C:WINDOWSRUN C:WINDOWSCRASH C:COMPUTERDIE

\  Windows? HA! C:WINDOWS. DELETE *.* AH! That's better ...

\\  Boost system speed by 200% - DEL C:WINDOWS*.*

\\\\\  C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSRUN C:PCCRAWL

\  C:WINDOWS>DEL *.*    I feel better now!

\\\\\\  C:WINDOWSRUN C:WINDOWSCRASH C:COMPUTERFRY



Anti-Windows Taglines - Programmer's Jokes!



  If(Windows=You) then let length(YourWalk) > length(pier)

  IF WINDOWS$="Useful" THEN HELL$<32F

\\  IF EXIST C:WIN*.* ECHO Stupid Idiot!!!



Anti-Windows Taglines - Windows is SLOW!



  Nothing beats Windows, it keeps loading and loading andŤ
loading ...

  Speed kills!  Switch to Windows ...

  The best way to accelerate Windows is at escape velocity.

  How do you make WINDOWS faster?  Throw it harder!!!

  They'll release Windows 3.2 when 3.1 finishes loading.

  If speed scares you, use Micro$oft Windows!

  Windows is fast, PKZIP is good, and hell has frozen over.

  Windows to 486/50 mhz CPU: Don't rush me, don't rush me ...

  Windows is made by MicroSOFT, not MicroGOOD, MicroRIGHT, orŤ
MicroFAST.

  Try Windows...for a good night's sleep while you wait...andŤ
wait ...

  Pick two: 1)Fast 2)Right 3)Cheap 4)Windows (counts as 2)

  Make Windows fly...put it on the space shuttle ...

  Ever notice how fast Windows runs?  Neither did I ...

  Speed kills!  (Microsoft's Windows publicity slogan)

  For sale: Hourglass for timing Windows.



Anti-Windows Taglines - Dictionary Entries!



  DOOR:(n.) Something you throw Windows out of.

  OS/2:(n.) Windows with bullet-proff glass.

  Happiness:(n.) A computer without WINDOWS!

  Windows:(n.)1. Something that comes with the mouse you bought.

  Windows:(n.)2. The Gates of hell.

  Windows:(n.)3. The solution to a problem that didn't exist.

  Windows:(n.)4. Proof that God has a sense of humor.

  Grammar for the '90's:  Bad.  Worse.  WINDOWS.



Anti-Windows Taglines - Acronyms!



  <W>indows <I>cons <M>ice <P>ointers...<S>heesh!

  Windows, icons, mouse and pointer = WIMP

  WIMP = Windows, Icons, Mice, Pull-down menus



Anti-Windows Taglines - Questions!



  Windows?  WINDOWS?!?  Hahahahahehehehohohoho...

  Windows open: Jump?  [Y/y/y]

  Why I like DR-DOS?  It doesn't work with Windows 3.1!

  Are you running under Windows, or just using an XT?

  But why spend $2000.00 just to run Windows?

  If Windows is User-Friendly, why do you need to read a 678 pg.Ť
manual?

  Windows???  A very nice VGA demo, isn't it?



Anti-Windows Taglines - Animals!



  Dogs crawl under Gates, software crawls under Windows!

  Cats like Windows, it seems to attract Mice...

  I can't use Windows.  My cat ate my mouse.



Anti-Windows Taglines - Real windows!



  Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.

  When you open WINDOWS, you let BUGS in!

  I use Windows...on my car, on my house, but not on my ...

  Windows... just another pain in the glass ...

  Hark!  What rock through yonder window breaks?

  It's curtains for Windows!

  Windows - Just another pane in the glass.

  Windows?  I thought they were all broken?

  Even my cleaning lady won't do Windows.



Anti-Windows Taglines - Windows doesn't work!



  Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekker, wurks grate!

  If at first you don't succeed, you must be using Windows ...

  If WINDOWS sucked it would be good for something.

  Windows is fne for Hih Sped Communicatns ...

  Windws is ine for bckgroun comnicaions ...

  If I only had a nickel for every time Windows crashed ...

  It works fine except when I am in Windows.

  Windows v47.4 - We * * FINALLY * * got it right!!!

  Windows is as stable as a model of a skyscraper made ofŤ
playing cards.

  I wished Windows sucked!  Then it's be good for something!



Anti-Windows Taglines - It Stinks!



  Windows...from the folks who gave us EDLIN ...

  Purchasing Windows is an Unrecoverable Application Error.

  Windows, written entirely by blondes.

  Windows isn't crippleware, it's "Functionally Challenged"

  Windows: From the people who brought you the 640K limit.



Anti-Windows Taglines - Windows Icons!



  Windows needs a Shredder icon. Program Click and drag Manag

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